helpful, clear helped us by knowing others have faced this situation
and helped us focus on reconnecting and forgetting the anger and disappointment.
Needed more ideas.

Dr. Ruth Nemzoff's advice - straightforward and insightful - covers the challenging developmental issues we all face in family relationships. Parenting adult children is an ongoing process, and Nemzoff provides a structure by which families can stay connected. There is a universal quality to the stories she tells and questions she asks. And these serve as a guide for readers to explore their own particular circumstances and choices. Her suggestion to leave room in your mind for the unfamiliar and unexpected is alone worth the cost of the book. When we focus on the details, especially if it's not what we had in mind, we overlook the elusive but real emotions. And, in her personal disclosures, you can tell that she walks the walk with her own family. Nemzoff aptly demonstrates that, by being direct and honest yet sensitive to the other's feelings, we can redefine our relationships with our adult children. And be free to forge different yet enduring bonds. This is practical kitchen table wisdom at its' finest.

Be brave enough to answer the questions at the end of each chapter...they'll give you great insight into your own life and needs. Then with Dr. Nemzoff's encouragement, you can change old habits and improve your relationships with your adult children.

"Don't Bite Your Tongue" is a wonderful primer for Advanced Motherhood. The "other Dr. Ruth" gently guides us through the intricacies of parenting our adult children. Written with the wisdom of a scholar and the humility that only the mother of four grownups can bring to this subject, she deftly addresses issues of communication, in-laws, stylistic and cultural differences, grandparenting, disappointment, adult sibling relationships, money, and more, while encouraging us to acknowledge and utilize our childrens' expertise. The book is filled with vivid vignettes and sound suggestions to help us create satisfying mutual relationships. As a family therapist, I recommend "Don't Bite Your Tongue" to all parents of launching children, since it so clearly delineates developmental issues that are bound to arise as the parent-child relationship moves into it's final metamorphosis. Book clubs, and parent's groups will find rich material for unending discussion in this book.

What a find! With five adult children, all in different stages of life it's not always easy to know what to say or do. Dr. Nemzoff covers everything from the adult child who moves back home to grandparenting and more. Her very practical advice is presented in a very clear and understandable manner and her questions at the end of each chapter will make you think. She also does this all with wit and humor
I have passed it on to a friend who's 22 year old son has move back home.
Mary Dewar